


Every form that love can take

by Lee_EyeSmile



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Best Friends, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Lovers to Friends, M/M, Some Timeskips, also by Lie Again by Seventeen, i tried fluff but then the album started playing and oh well, im terrible with tags and summary, inspired by Sing To Me Instead album by Ben Platt, kinda angsty, kinda linear tho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-14
Updated: 2020-05-14
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:35:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24180694
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lee_EyeSmile/pseuds/Lee_EyeSmile
Summary: Despite Jeno having his heart shattered in pieces he realizes it´s the other boy that was broken all along.
Relationships: Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin
Kudos: 11





	Every form that love can take

**Author's Note:**

> This story started with Lie Again by seventeen as inspiration but then i found out about Sing To Me Instead by Ben Platt and decided to continue this project!  
> Songs i used:  
> \- Lie Again  
> \- Bad Habit  
> \- Temporary Love  
> \- Honest Man  
> \- Better  
> \- Easy My Mind  
> \- Grow As We Go  
> I wished i could have used all the songs.... maybe in an another part hehe

“What are you saying, Jaemin?”

Said boy breaths in trying to organize his thoughts.

“I´m saying i don't love you. I don't like you. I don't want to see you anymore… at least as boyfriends.”

“This doesn't make sense! Baby please… you are being too rushed into this. We can work on whatever you need. We can make this work.” Jeno hurriedly says, while holding onto the younger´s hoodie.

“Jeno. There's no “this” to even work with! I can't return your feelings like you want me. This is hurting both of us so we better back off before its way worse.”

Tears roll down on Jeno´s cheeks as he assimilates the words that are being throw at him.

“I can't keep lying to you. You are my best friend, I can't do that to you. I can´t keep saying words I don't fully mean even if it makes you happy because that happiness is only temporary.”

“But I need you…” The taller says in a small and almost inaudible way, tightening his hold on the other´s fabric.

“I know… and that's what's worse. You have to stop needing me because i really can't return your feelings.”

The words kept hurting Jeno as he listen to then, as he felt them as knifes in his heart. 

He grew weaker and weaker, but he still resisted the tiredness to beg one more time.

“Please, Jaemin. Don't leave me.”

Said boy got closer and held the other´s face.

“It's for the best. But in the future, once you learn to search for the love you deserve, i'm going to be here. As a best friend. Because that i can be for you.”

And with that he walks away to the front door opening it and getting out, leaving Jeno with a huge scar on his heart and a hurtful memory of heartbreak.

\- . - . - . - . - . -

Months passed and they haven't met since that day. 

It's still hurts, it's still difficult.

Whenever he feels alone he wants to reach out to Jaemin. Sometimes he feels needy and he knows the younger is the only solution to calm his heart. So he calls the boy, begging for him to have him back.

"This is a bad habit, Jeno."

"I know… but Nana, please."

"we've talked about this. I can't give what you want."

"but I need you. so much."

"Jeno…"

"No, listen. I know. I hate it too. I hate when I call you when I'm lonely and I need you. i hate it when I say that I miss you and that i l-love you" a pause "Because it's /still/ all true. and everyone knows that it isn't for you. but it's so dark, Nana. please help me."

"I can't Jeno. I don't know how. I'm sorry" and he hungs up.

that was the third time Jeno called, drunk and crying. 

Jeno feels relentless. with no support. 

But it's a cycle. one he is afraid won't be able to escape soon.

\- . - . - . - . - . -

as the time goes on, he gets better. he had to be.

the hurtful feeling no longer in his heart, now just the memories.

_ "Hey Jaemin!"  _

_ "yes?" _

_ "this is not a temporary love, you know?"  _

_ upon silence he continues _

_ "I know it's difficult. what we are doing. I'm scared too! oh if I am" he laughs, holding Jaemin's hands "but you see it too, right?" _

_ "I guess…" _

_ "I know you've been hurt. but I will do everything I can to protect you from more. and I know this is too much, but, Nana, my heart is in your hands, please don't give it up" _

_ Jaemin can't say anything, tears starting to roll down his cheeks, and Jeno takes that as if the boy is just overwhelmed. _

he now realizes it's was temporary after all, and he is the one who got hurt.

and Jaemin know it all along.

\- . - . - . - . - . -

"Hi"

"Hey"

"I need my bestfriend." Jeno hurriedly said.

Rustling could be heard on the other side of the phone and then a breathless "ok"

"it's been a year. a difficult one Jaemin. please let me see you"

"ok. when?" 

"tomorrow please"

"ok Jeno. see you tomorrow"

Tomorrow arrived with a beautiful sky and birds chirping.

They agreed meeting at the city's park, and at exactly 15:00 jeno was sitted on the grass near the kids playground.

Some minutes later the other boy arrived waving at Jeno before approaching him.

Neither could talk. It was like the bubble created around them was too fragile.

until… "I'm sorry, Jeno"

He didn't reply. He just looked at Jaemin, scanning his whole face, taking his sweet moment. Then

"No you are not."

That caught Jaemin by surprise.

"I am, Jeno. i swear. why would I not"

once again he took his time to reply, while Jaemin was starting to psnick slightly.

"it's okay, Jaem. You are not sorry for breaking my heart the way you did. and that's fine. I know you, and I'm an honest man, I know you can be one too, so please, be it."

"i-" he stopped. he couldn't speak. he lowered his head and took a long breath.

"I'm not mad Nana. I never was. tremendously hurt? yes of course. but never mad. and will never be"

"oh god" a single tear sled down his cheek, which Jeno helped clear.

"please Nana. be honest too. we both deserve that"

Jaemin breathed in and finally started talking.

"you are right. it was the only way, you would never take it well. so yes, I'm not sorry about that. but I'm sorry I hurted my bestfriend."

"Thank you." Jeno started getting up.

seeing as the other man was moving, so did Jaemin "where are you going?"

"home."

"b-but we barely talked."

"you are right. but what we need to talk about you are not ready to."

"I am. tell me what you want to talk about and we will. please stay longer, Jeno"

"Jaemin. listen to me." Jeno held Jaemin by his shoulders "I know you see me. what do you see?"

it is true. all those of years of friendship made them know each other to the core. 

"someone happier."

"yes. because of you. wanna know what I see?"

Jaemin nods.

"cloudy thoughts. hate for yourself. you are so unhappy."

"y-you are right" 

"I know. Jaemin, why did you do this to yourself?"

somehow the sunny day turned into a cloudy one, scaring the parents with the little kids, taking them home. 

the wind brushes against their faces, but Jaemin isn't trembling because of the weather. 

"because you know me better than I know myself." 

he falls into Jeno's arms clutching into his shirt crying of exhaustion from his feelings.

"go on" Jeno encourages him

"I lost part of myself that day. I truly thought it would be the end of us, forever in any form. and that broke me." he shrinks himself more into the older's hug. "Jeno, I did what I did because I couldn't keep lying, you know that right? that I did that thinking about what was best for you?”

"I know. but it hurted you a lot too." 

Jaemin bumbled a 'i know', being too tired.

Jeno lowered them, and rested his back on the tree near them, still hugging Jaemin, as the boy started drifting to sleep.

All that alone time made him understand why the other did what he did. It also made him realise he needed to help him. Knowing him, as he knows, it was a cry for help. Sadly Jeno only noticed later, and Jaemin was now in too deep. 

This was all just miscommunication, something that should have never happen. But Love does blind people, and unfortunately it blinded Jeno to the point he couldn't see the hurt in his lover's eyes, darkening his soul. 

He will now try to help him, easy his mind from the dark thoughts, like the best friend he knows Jaemin needs.

After Jaemin woke up, they went to Jeno's apartment agreeing to order some pizza.

Now, with the pizza in front of them, Tv on working solely as a background sound, Jaemin brings the afternoon topic back.

“will you help me Jeno?”

Jeno smiled and took one of the other´s hand on his own.

“Of course. You helped me, and now i will too. We are going to be here for each other, ok?”

“you are really an amazing friend… it's gonna take a long time before i can forgive myself for what i did to you, but thank you for being here for me.”

Jeno only smiled and made a motion for Jaemin to come closer, spreading his arms for the younger to rest against them.

Although one year has passed since they broke up, Jeno still loved the other so much, both in a platonic way as a best friend and a romantically way. But he knew whatever happens in the future will be in it's own pace.

Right now he is just happy to be able to help the younger, as he should had done. And now they will conquer every monster inside their heads together.

“I love you Jeno. Don't think for a moment that i don't.” Jaemin suddenly said, as if he was reading Jeno's thoughts.

“May have doubted for a moment, not gonna lie.” He chuckled sadly remembering the pain he felt. “But i know Jaemin. I love you too, in every form that love can take.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading it!!!  
> Im not exactly proud of this work but i liked doing it~ It definetly can be better so that´s what im gonna try in the future!


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